i believe when i wrote about vulture whales recently released long time listener, first time caller i alluded to the fact that i felt that they, as a band, recorded that record for them, not you dear listener. actually, i think i said that there was nothing about said record that came across as giving a fuck what you think. i may be wrong, and i am too lazy to go back and read what i actually wrote. well, apparently that attitude doesnt just stop on record cause lead vulture wes mcdonald has a very interesting and intriguing proposal for probably the most beloved/influential group on the planet. i cant say i disagree with his views at all….
remember friends of captains dead, this is american music has long time listener, first time caller for 5 bucks plus a shit load of awesome other releases. some of which are even free! omg!
The Beatles Time Capsule Proposal
Let me tell you something that might shock you : I don’t like The Beatles. I did like them, a lot. But now I am sick of them and don’t like them at all. I have a lot of respect for the fab four but their music has gotten old. I’ve heard it so much as a result of a global-vertical and lateral cultural acceptance resulting in heavy rotation and hyper exuberance everywhere in the world, and for a long time now. I have achieved Beatles Overload.
You probably feel the same way but are afraid to admit it. Because, when you say anything negative about The Beatles, people look at you like you made a racial slur on top of a voodoo blasphemy. Sorry, I can’t stand the boys from Liverpool anymore and it feels good to say it. The Beatles music doesn’t sound or feel as good as it used to, because we’ve all heard it so much that we are immune to it. I’m sick of seeing the faces of the Beatles all the time, too. if I see that photograph of them crossing the street again, I’m going to do Helter Skelter or Harry Carry; probably the latter because I’m so sick and tired of the Beatles’ song about the former.
I know the Beatles have made some of the best music of all time. They were a hits machine that produced an endless list of timeless classics. They are a world treasure. Songwriting geniuses. I get it! They are amongst the tallest giants of music. Their songs will and should live “forever”. I know this! It’s impossible to over state their influence on pop culture. It’s impossible to imagine the world without the music of The Beatles. But . . . let’s do it! Let’s put the clamp down on the Beatles for 10 years. Come on, we could all use a break.
The Plan For The Beatles Music Moratorium :
The day after the last living Beatle dies (Paul or Ringo), everyone will celebrate the lives, times and music of good ol’ John, Paul, George, and Ringo and for two weeks. There will be a constant stream of Beatles movie marathons, car jamming, elevator whistling, Beatles Barber Shop quartets, costume contest and loud Beatles parties everywhere. It’ll be South By South Beatles in every town. And THEN : After two weeks of Beatle post-mordem pre-moratorium mania, the band’s music will simply and cleanly be removed from society.
The Beatles will be placed in a time capsule for 10 years. No one will listen to the Beatles, and no musician will play The Beatles. There will be no adoring and carrying on about the Beatles. We all need a break from that, too. *No one will have anything to do with the Beatles for 10 years.
In the mean time, the music will be recharging in the time capsule and slowly fading from our minds. As a result of this 10 year long process, our ability to appreciate the music and it’s ability to truly be appreciated will be restored. The Beatles will reemerge stronger than ever.
After 10 years have passed, the people of the world will have cleansed their sonic palate of The Beatles, setting the stage for the glorious return of the band that got too big for their own music. The moratorium will be lifted at midnight, beginning the calendar day of January 1st when the tenth year of the Beatles cease-play expires. Imagine the build up to New Years that year. . . Engineering magic, keeping the band in the bottle and letting them out just as memory is about to decide that it doesn’t know the Beatles anymore. And then they’re back like the cavalry. Every song will be new to everyone. The Beatles will be born again.
The Beatles Time Capsule Project will never work of course because it would take way too much cooperation than reality can give. But, who’s fooling who? Too much exposure to any one song or band is a disservice to the music itself. Anything, no matter how great, GETS OLD! Even The Beatles.
On a similar, and much more obvious preaching to the choir musical note : Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama” is a great song that I haven’t cared about in a long, long time. Does anybody need to hear it again in the next 20 years? It’s a big JOKE when it comes on the radio or anywhere else. That I am from Alabama is irrelevant. We may hate/love that song here in AL a little more than most, but this is undoubtedly a world wide problem of burned to a crisp-over done. Whenever someone from Alabama travels out of the southeast or out of the country, the natives think that we will feel welcomed and more at home if they play “Sweet Home Alabama” on the stereo. It’s a nice gesture, but we hate that. It’s goofy.
It’s people from outside Alabama that have run the poor song into the ground. Anytime that Alabama is spot-lighted in the national or international media, again and again, over and over, music program directors go straight to “Sweet Home” to fill the spot, further dulling the blade of what was once a really cool song. After years of constant play, It’s been run into the ground so far that we really don’t hear the song anymore. We are immune to the music. It sounds like a caricature of itself. We can’t take it seriously. It makes sense on the most obvious level, and that’s boring, and boring is annoying. I feel the same about the The Beatles. I’m bored with it and annoyed about it. It should be outlawed, for 10 years.
*While the Beatles Music Moratorium is underway, the only places that Beatles music will be allowed is in Bingo parlors, Picadilly’s and any other place where only old people hang out. The elderly get a pass because they are the most likely people to die within 10 years. People diagnosed with terminal diseases will also be shown leniency concerning The Beatles Time Capsule Law.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t impose your dislike on everyone else. I’ve unsubscribed to your blog starting……now.
Greg, you sacrilegious scourge, you crack me up!
While I’m only burned out on half of The Fab 4 catalogue, I’d have no problem with the moratorium. But while you’re at it, you have to include a lot of the music that I had to listen to in my ‘formative years’ on the FM ‘classic rock’ radio. There are entire groups that I cannot bear to hear anymore: Foreigner, Kansas, Boston, Journey, Styx, etc.
It’s my utter contempt for having to listen to the same songs over and over again that started me on my musical journey that, among other places, led me to your place on the blogosphere.
Out with the old and tired, in with the new and vibrant!
Regards, Dave.
PS I may hide my a couple of my Beatles LPS in case your moratorium goes through.
i say take everything pre 1982 and box it up for 20 years! you would think that i would love the beatles since really my fave band, gbv, is more or less a beatles cover band, but i really dont like em at all. sure there are some really amazing songs, but overall they dont do it for me. im a stones guy, and i think you are either stones or beatles… and impossible72, get a life.
love the beatles post…but don’t give up so soon…you can get some more mileage/years out of the old catalogue still by playing it backwards.
very empathetic gesture including the leniency clause for the elderly and terminally ill…
voodoo blasphemy would also make a sweet band name, or at the very least a perfect dubstep album …
I read this while listening to the Beatles. No joke – “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” started up on Pandora.
And I’ll back Wes on this. We all could use a break for around a decade.