rape me. no please seriously. will someone please rape me?

Finally we find out the real reason Courtney Love can’t afford a good plastic surgeon.

Oh, no. Someone let Courtney out of her cage. The only thing worse for this woman than smack is a keyboard. We’re pretty sure this is one single run-on sentence.

Ryan Adams you fucking weasel. deal with it.858,00$
Current mood: determined

Listen this is another open letter
this to a beyond mediocre piece of shite- maybe its just my moment to fucking get the knives out of my back, but in any case between 00 and 04 before ….well a dark pit of shit and fake names and insanity follows with lots and lots of people counting on Kookoo cherry not being able to prove things- and thats for another day- those people have not played chess with me.
But i was sitting with some people going thru the 29 american express cards that i didnt know existed that were connected to a few HUNDRED bank accounts,and there were all the bills for Ryan Adams worst record and one of the worst records i can think of in rock and roll history ironically called”Riock and Roll ” and it was paid for by ME and mostly by my child.

and when i met Ryan we had a mild little flirtation, why not? but i made the deathly stupid decision to instead of just have very safe sex with him ( hes pretty dirty and man ive been around but im the virgin mary comparitevly) or make friends. no i fucking pimped my useless , ridiculaously terrible loser “Boyfriend” ( who ironically Edward Norton hates no one any more than this fuck and for good reason , yet Edwards OWN business manager put Barber up on West XXth street kitty corner from Edward, Barber could see into Edwards Apartment, and then he had his own Dean and Deluca account and an ABC Carpetand Home account and spent about 250,000 on furniture and another 600,000 dollars on travel, this loser who hasnt had a job since 98 – while Frances didnt have hardly enough to eat and i sure as hell didnt) i pimped Barber onto Ryan,”oooh hes a great producer”- maybe it wasbnt honourable0 i just wanted Barber gone, so maybe i used Ryan to get him gone, yeah you listen to this shit im listening to my i tunes on right now who names a record “Rock n Roll” what assholes do that? with these trebled up guitars my bandmate said sounded like “really horrific rem on steroids” all treble and compresssion and shit wirtten songs – but so what?
well on my amex atthat time the 858 but also from bank accounts….theres 200,000 thousnad dollar checks written to Barber for “comissions” ididnt even know where the fuck he was ! but here on Amex 28 is the entire invoice for Ryan- your ENTIRE album and meals and drugs and Hotels and outboard gear and wasted fabullous guitars STRAIGHT OUT OF FRANCES”S TRUST FUND
So you little shit, maybe you had NO IDEA right? is that why you used a hysterical voice mail of a very terrified and flipped out me- for your worst reviewed record and well deserved too, this record is shite totally one of the worst recordings ive ever heard yet Ryan you YOU spent 858,000 dolllars on this record of MY DAUGHTERS MONEY. so whats your paying me back plan? illbe in New York next week , you can start by working out your payment plan, because i will litiagate your thieving ass from here til eternity, your a thief and i used to think you had some subtsance to you then i find out your being managed or your money is by Victoria Blake? is that POSSIBLE? whata great PAL that lizard like cretin is t o you and i hope you had fun that week in :Jamaica” whilst more of my kids money was being shoved offshore- but thats not the point- Billy may have made my kid cry but i wasn’t in the room – he’s family and he always will be- he just laid his Billy trip on a person a little too young for it- I’m over it. but YOU RYAN, OWE FRANCES 858<000 dollars , so should isend the amex copies to Blake and he “staff”? because i would enjoy that very much,what a really good friend to leave you with someone whose been diagnosed as an “utter psychotic” by a professional foresnic psychiatrist.
This record sucks i mean WOW!
is this what youd like me to tell my kid a fraction of her money was stolen for this shite “Rock N Roll ” cd shall i post the outboard gear and 4 seasons billls and fancy Nobu dinners, ahh so thats why you released two records at once where you getting paid a salary to let Gollum “produce” you cos we both know what a reall fucking genius that guy is, and this isnt about Gollum- hes inthe hands of the professionals, i walk away now knowing everything, all of it , its disgusting and its a fucking nuclear explosion of greed i dont think american history has ever seen but no other artist was ever involved in this scandalous vile behaviour ……but you were and i note to self; you suck on this record with your bile towards me, ande its gutless and cowardly and shit, and you know it, Pay me back Ryan, Pay Frances back. an dtake my fucking voice off that piece of shit.
everyone in the world knows your giving your all and your all just isnt enough and you just keeep chugging- keep playng mediocre safe music some of wich i like- d an d then i saw these amex bills. it s makes me so sick you used my voice on this, really disgusting and horrific, you knew what they were doing to me and frances, and yet you just spent our money HER money in this specific case- does that makje youf eel like a big man ? stealing from a suicide? A MARTYRED HERO? fun for you. big man. wow. impressive.
Yeah well theres nothing good about suicide and i should know- but to take my near suicidal depression and use it on my daughters paying fo ryour shit record, you get the point you can find me im sure- and ill be happy to work out a payment plan
But as God Is My Witness Ryan you will pay back every fucking penny of this. 858,000 dollars for Rock n Roll ? wow you were living large- most people reading this dont even know what record or even artist im referring to , as your just this cult americana wanna be dylan thing- i think you have value as an artist but as a human your beneath contempt- let me know if im incorrect about the fact that you knew full and well that Barber /Gollum was using my money to pay for your self admitedly shit record- and let me know if i am wrong and your not with Blake, if you are your certainly getting what yousdeserve! no wonder you look like utter shit, and healthy as jaundice, HEY YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GO DOWN ITS HYSTERICAL. an excellent lyric wouldnt you think.?
still shooting smack? hows that going for you?

OK. In the words of Ryan Adams: SRSLY. A few notes:

– This record was recorded, primarily, in the basement of the old BROWNIES!

– With Courtney’s ex Jim Barber.

– $858,000? Really? Was he making fucking “Rumors”?

Moral of the story? Never make a withdrawl (or het hem, purported deposit) at the Bank of Chase Courtney Love. Expect a new RA TUMBLR in 54….3….2….

Thanks to the fine trollers at Alt-Country.org for the source/comedic material. The original MyGrace post, because you couldn’t make this shite up.

“OK everyone — let’s call it a day. 10 eightballs, 6 sweaty deli trays and a Coors beer ball on Courtney!”

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17 thoughts on “rape me. no please seriously. will someone please rape me?

  1. gregor says:

    i have so many questions, but i guess the main one is is wtf is adams doing cohorting with such a being?

  2. […] trying to erase it from my head as we speak. But if you’d like to see it, check it out right here courtesy of Captains […]

  3. gregor says:

    maybe i misread this but did she say that frances didnt have any food to eat? yeah, i think there may be some money mismanagement going on on her end if that were ever the case.

  4. Maybe «The drug’s not working» for Courtney anymore.

    But really? Are we not all indebted to Mrs. Love and Frances? Thanks to them we have Luminol!! And etc.

    Thanks for sharing, Captain!

    Let’s wait for RA’s return to the blogosphere!

  5. Matthew says:

    You can buy drugs with an American Express card!!!!!! Who knew!!!!!!

  6. smangs says:

    What song is she on?

  7. gregor says:

    i was thinking the same thing. maybe she has him confused with billy corgan?

  8. nobody girl says:

    $600,000 on travel? did he fly first class to the moon?

  9. gregor says:

    actually thats exactly what he did. sir richard branson dont let anyone ride for free unless ass or grass is involved.

  10. […] C.LOVE/RAdams Redux! Per friend last night: “She does everything for you.” Sunday, July 20, 2008 Dante’s Inferno […]

  11. Erica says:

    What I wanna know is, what the hell was she doing using her daughter’s dough to finance stuff for her lova, wtf’s up with that??

  12. desparatet1998 says:

    thats funny but i wont to get raped

  13. tony hilton says:

    just a quick question,did you ever get raped

  14. fart says:

    whats your adress

  15. fart says:

    i live in congo

  16. Kurtfan says:


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